December 2011
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My dress doesn’t fit right, I keep having to haul it up. My stomach looks paunchy in it aswell. My shoes are too big and I think the heel is a little too high for me. One of my best friends bailed on our plans, as per usual. And i’m not nearly drunk enoug yet.
Please night, get better, please.
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I should get drunk every Wednesday night...
I was rather intoxicated last night but, I woke up this morning at 9am ready to go. I did the horse chores, took the dogs for a walk, did a 30 day shred workout, did two loads of laundry, cleaned my room and showered all before 1pm.
Productivity is glorious. So is not being hungover.
I hope everyone has a lovely day ! :)
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broriarty:
i have this growing list of movies and shows i need to watch but i keep watching the movies and shows that i’ve already seen ten times
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Tonight I get to hang out with my friends from high school who I hardly ever get to see. I am so freaking excited !! :)
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Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
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